Forever This Time (Hope Harbor) Read online

  “That’s something to look forward to, kids. I’ll have to organize something nearer the time.” She remembered laying up her on the grassy knoll with Drew watching the whales breach around the point.

  “Remember Winston Marlow?”

  The nature loving little kid that hated to be inside? The same boy that could be guaranteed to have a dead starfish or fish skeleton in his pockets. “Yes, I do. How is he?”

  “Got his own whale watching boat fleet now. Done really well for himself from what I can tell.”

  “That’s wonderful. He was such an interesting boy. Didn’t want to go away to college, said he hated to leave the island.” She smiled at the memory. “He was the kid that was always at the beach, searching the rock pools for anything he could find. His mother must have been inundated with sea creatures every single day.”

  “That’s him and yes, she was. Such a clever child and so interesting to talk to. When you want to go out, give him a call. I’m sure he’d love to take the children exploring.” Gigi pulled a folding chair over from the small outdoor table and positioned it near April. She sat down and leaned back, stretching her legs out. “This is the life. I doubt I’ll ever get sick of this view. Drew was very lucky getting this property.”

  “Yes, he was.” April sipped her drink and tried to think of something to change the subject. The children downed their juice and then started to scamper and chase each other around the house. She opened her mouth to tell them to be careful of the new flower beds when Gigi touched her arm.

  “Don’t go worrying about the children, April. There’s nothing they can damage here.” She watched them race around the corner out of sight. “They seem to have it all under control. You’ve done a good job bringing them up.”

  “It’s not fair, Gigi. I tried to tell his parents when I discovered he was dabbling in drugs and again when it got really bad, but they wouldn’t listen. Even when they got the autopsy report and saw the amount of poison in his system, they still blamed me.”

  “After seeing it in black and white? That’s just plain stupid.”

  “I put it down to grief and gave them more leeway. Even that backfired on me. Do you know what they did?” When Gigi shook her head, April continued, “I tried to shield the children from the way Rob died; they didn’t need to hear the gruesome details. His parents told them one day when I dropped them off for a visit. Blamed me for his death to my own children!”

  “No!” She sat forward in her chair, horrified.

  “You can imagine the state they came home in. Leo had nightmares for ages afterwards and Tilly, well Tilly changed. The carefree child she used to be was suddenly gone. In her place was a more somber girl.” April picked at a strand of grass, running it through her fingers. “They’ve just about ruined any chance of having a relationship with their grandchildren because of what they’ve done to us and what Rob put in his will.”

  “Tilly told me about that and the court case.” She put her glass down and looked out over the ocean. “What are you going to do? You can’t let them keep coming here and causing you trouble like that. You have a life to make for these children and they’re not helping any.”

  April sighed. “I know. I spoke to Atticus about it. He suggested I take out a restraining order. I can’t think of any other option. We’ve already been to court when they tried to take the children from me, insisting I was to blame and didn’t deserve to keep custody of them.” She dropped her head and picked a blade of grass, keeping an eye out for the children so they didn’t hear the conversation. “The judge ruled in my favor, said they’d wasted the court’s time and my money. He was suffering from PTSD and none of it was my fault. He’d seen so many things that a human being shouldn’t have to. I can’t wait to get the final paperwork laying it all out including the courts suggestion that the children have nothing to do with their grandparents unless they’re supervised in future.”

  “It’s a terrible thing, war. Nobody wins, April.”

  “I know and I agree. I don’t think I have any choice but to take out restraining orders against them. I thought when I moved back here, they’d leave me alone. But still I’m loath to do it.”

  Gigi reached over and patted her hand. “Do what you have to do, honey, to protect those babies of yours.”

  “Thanks for your help. You don’t know how much it means to me.” Tears shimmered in her eyes and she blinked them away, determined not to break down. There’d been enough emotion already today.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “April.” Drew walked out from the house and stood next to his aunt. “I thought I was bringing the children back with Gigi.”

  She stood up and ran her hands over her windswept hair. “I couldn’t be apart from them any longer. I appreciate what you did, taking them away from the fuss.”

  He watched the emotions flicker in her eyes. “Come and see what I’ve done with the house. Its changed a lot since you left the island.” He slipped a hand under her elbow and tried not to react to the grin on his aunt’s face.

  “Oh, but the children…

  “Off you go, April. The children are fine. I’ll keep an eye on them.” Gigi winked as he took her away.

  The walked up the grassy bank and onto the front deck. Drew turned her around and stared out over the ocean. “Looks a little bit different from up here, doesn’t it?”

  The pink tinge on her cheeks made him think she was thinking the same thing he was. The way they parked up here when they were younger. A blanket and each other was all they’d needed back then. Life had been uncomplicated.

  “It’s still gorgeous. You’re very lucky being able to make this your home, Drew.”

  “I know, but I don’t have everything I want yet. I’m working on it.” Before she could protest, he guided her inside and stopped in the open living area. “What do you think?”

  April turned around the room, taking it all in. “Wow.” She stepped over to the kitchen area and touched the countertops. “Are these recycled timbers?”

  “Yes. They’re from the old wharf.” He could see where her mind was going. They’d planned their house down to the smallest detail when they lay snuggled under their blanket under the stars. “Billy made them for me. Remember how he was always whittling at a piece of driftwood? Well, now he has his own business using recycled timbers and making one off pieces. He’s always busy and you can see the workmanship that’s gone into the kitchen. I had to wait months for them, but it was worth it.”

  “That’s amazing. I can’t believe you did what we talked about.” April checked out the walk in pantry and appliances, making all the right noises before coming back to where he stood. “Why, Drew?”

  “Because no matter what happened, I couldn’t forget you and what we had.” He put out his hand to stop her as she stepped away from him. “Please listen, April. I loved you, you know I did.”

  “I think I was more than a little bit convenient, Drew. When your studies took over, I barely rated a weekly phone call. I don’t call that love.”

  “It wasn’t like that, honestly. I got overwhelmed with study and work. Being an intern was a killer. The hours were terrible and I could have told you that instead of ignoring you. It was my own fault. I get that now. I should never have neglected you. In hindsight, I should have at least discussed it with you. In my mind, if I didn’t say I was too busy for you it wouldn’t be true.”

  “And look what happened. I missed you, Drew but I couldn’t stand to be ignored.” She moved back to the front of the house and stared over the water. “You have no idea how much it hurt me to move on, but you weren’t there for me like I was for you.”

  “It’s all my fault. I freely admit I screwed up. Things happened. Life got so busy I didn’t know what to do first some days. I doubt I can ever make it up to you, April. I wonder if you’d be prepared to give me the chance to try again.” He walked over and put his hands on her shoulders, hoping she would lean back against him. She didn’t. “We had something good
together, you know we did.”

  “It’s too late. I have the children to think about now. They need me to make a new life for us here on the island. After what they’ve been through, I have to focus on them. Besides, you were the one who said we should move on, remember?”

  “That was my ego talking. I thought I’d be able to let you go, but seeing you again, I can’t do it. I have to make you see how I feel about you.”

  “Things have changed, Drew.”

  “Yes, they have, and here we are again, April. I’m only asking for a chance to see if we can rekindle the spark between us.”

  “No, you don’t know me anymore. The things I’ve done since I’ve been away. I’m not the same person.” She looked up when the children ran around the corner of the house, stepped away from him.

  “Nor am I. We’ve both grown up. Neither of us are children anymore. I know it sounds crazy but that doesn’t mean we have to ignore the spark that’s still there. Does it? I never fell out of love with you.” Drew stepped forward so they were side by side. “I’m pathetic, I know. You were always the one for me and that hasn’t changed. Perhaps when you’re ready we can explore that spark together?”

  April turned her head towards him. The breeze whipped strands of dark hair across her cheeks. Pain shimmered in her eyes and his stomach lurched, hoping he wasn’t the cause of her grief. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, especially after this morning. I have more things to deal with and that’s not fair on anyone.”

  ***

  She walked away leaving him in standing on the deck, and realized the spark was still there. Could they have another chance together? It made her wonder, question the way she’d told him no. Perhaps in time she might have another chance with the man she always thought she’d marry. She’d have to think about it. He’d cut her off once before without looking back. Besides, after everything that had gone on in the past fifteen years or so, did they even really know each other anymore? It surprised her to realize she wanted to find out. Right now, while her emotions were still so raw, did she have the nerve to follow through?

  “Lovely home, isn’t it?” Gigi looked up at her, hand shading her eyes from the late afternoon sun.

  “Yes. Yes, it is. Thank you so much for today, Gigi. I hate to think what might have happened if the children had stayed and seen more than they had to.”

  “Anytime, honey. You know I’m here for you.”

  April called her children. “Time to get home. I’m sure you two have homework to deal with or bedrooms to clean.”

  With moans of protest, they allowed themselves to be led to the car, complaining all the way. “I wish we could live at the beach, Mom.” Leo fished a dried starfish out of his pocket and waved it under her nose. “Look what I found. I can start a collection now.”

  “Awesome. There are lots of beaches around the island that we can go to on weekends.” She’d traipsed around most of them as a child.

  “His room will stink if he starts collecting dead fish.” Tilly sat back in her seat, clicked the seatbelt into place, and stared out the window. “Did you use to go out with Drew, Mom?”

  She glanced at her daughter in the mirror. “What made you ask that, honey?”

  Tilly shrugged her shoulders. “Something Gigi said about you when you were little hanging out at that beach together.”

  Not something she wanted to discuss with a twelve-year-old. “There were a group of us that used to hang out together. Once Drew had his license, that beach was a favorite of ours. I think that’s why he brought that house when it came on the market.” Hopefully that would satisfy her inquisitive daughter.

  “I like him. He’s nice.” She continued to stare out the window, a pensive look on her face.

  “Me too. He’s good at hide and seek. We looked at caves together.” Leo chewed his bottom lip and frowned. Her boy was thinking. “Did you know there were lots of caves down there, Mom? There might even be pirates.” Leo picked at sand particles on the starfish, turning it over in his hands. “I want to go back there and play again.”

  “Yes, I did actually and maybe one day you can. Right now we need to get organized for tomorrow. You both have school and I have to go to work. Its already past your bath time. The day got away on us.”

  “Do you think Gram and Pop will come back?”

  “I’m not sure, Leo.”

  “Maybe Drew can tell them to stay away until they can use their manners. It’s not polite to yell at people like that.”

  Sadly, that was the only way her ex-in-laws knew how to relate to her and the children. There was nothing she could do to change their minds and April was done trying.

  She gave what Drew said some thought as she drove home. Until that moment she’d been able to convince herself there was no chance for the two of them, it was all in the past. When he’d told her he never fell out of love with her, she’d wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms. At the moment it was a dream she couldn’t afford. When he realized how weak she really was, how callous she had become, he would lose interest. Better that she stop this right now before her heart got any more involved than it had been before.

  She’d walked away from a sick man who needed her and that was unforgivable. She had to live with his death and some days the darkness of what she did overtook everything else. April wouldn’t wish that on anyone, least of all, Drew.

  She drove up and parked her car in front of the house. Thankfully it looked calm and deserted. “Let’s go. You two get showered and then bring out your homework. I’ll start dinner.”

  The children hurried from the car, jostling to be first in the shower. April followed at a more sedate pace. Drew’s admission of still loving her had her mind in a frenzy. How was she supposed to cope with that? Did he think she would fall at his feet and let herself be swept away? He didn’t even know what she’d been up to the last fifteen years apart from having two children and crazy in-laws.

  Once the children were in bed and the house was clean, she called Aggie, in need of some adult conversation. “I need a shoulder to cry on. Can you talk and bake bread at the same time?”

  “I’m still at home, don’t need to go into the shop for another hour because it’s Laurel’s turn to start early. How about I come over and we can plot the downfall of my brother together?”

  April laughed. “How did you know?”

  “Because I’m awesome at sniffing out problems, that’s why.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “That’s so sweet of him. I knew he still held a torch for you, but to ‘fess up so easy. I thought he would have at least held out until you couldn’t stand the tension between you. You know, kind of make you beg to have him take you back kind of sexual tension.”

  April leaned back on the couch, snuggling down in the mass of cushions, weary after an emotion-filled day. “I was blown away to be honest. I never expected him to come out with that after last week’s little ‘let’s move on and be friends,’ chat.”

  Aggie nodded her head and sighed. “So romantic. I never thought he had it in him.”

  “He was always romantic as a teenager.” From the wildflowers he picked her down to the poems he wrote and read to her under the light of the moon had proven that.

  Aggie held up her hand, index finger pointing. “Not lately he hasn’t. He’s been very different since he came back and brought the medical practice. Almost clinical in everything he’s done. Like buying the house and renovating it as if he had an agenda he had to stick to. A strange kind of game plan only he could see.” Aggie paused and looked out over the darkening skyline. “I was a little bit worried to tell you the truth about how focused he actually was. Dad suggested he might like to move in there and have his own space but no. He keeps coming up with excuses. The painters aren’t finished, or the plumbing isn’t right. He hasn’t brought any furniture which is a lie. He has plenty in storage. It went on and on.” She shrugged. “It was like he was waiting for the right person to move in with.
”

  April’s cheeks heated up. “Oh, please. You’re being dramatic. He’s just focused.”

  “Nope, disagree. Whenever he brought a date home it was like he was checking her out and seeing if she made the grade. You know, like five points if we liked her, five points if she fitted into island life, ten points if she could stand being a doctor’s wife. I could almost see him ticking off the boxes in his mind. Nobody lasted for long and now we know why.”

  An uncomfortable lump formed in April’s throat.

  “You still like him, don’t you?” Aggie sat forward, her eyes bright with interest. “Come on, you can tell me. Since when have we had secrets?”

  “Of course I still like him. Too much if I’m being honest. And why wouldn’t I? Even though I married Rob, it didn’t stop me thinking of Drew and that should have told me something, but stubborn as I was, I didn’t listen to my inner voice. Look at how well that turned out.”

  “So, what are you going to do about it?”

  There was nothing she could do but stick to the plan. Raise her children and make a life for them on the island. “Nothing. I’m not the same person, Aggie. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, things I don’t think Drew would think kindly of if he knew. Besides, I have the children. It’s better if we leave things as they are.”

  “Why don’t you give him the chance to tell you himself? My brother isn’t cruel, you know that. And he’s told you he wants you, April. Drew wants you and the children. Who wouldn’t love my godchildren? He’d be a great father to them.”

  “Moving way too fast for me.” She wasn’t prepared to tell Aggie the real reason behind her reluctance, not yet.

  “At least think about it and keep it in mind. Nobody says you have to agree now. Give yourself time to consider what he said and you may come around to the idea. You’re too young to be on your own, and you two always looked good together.”