Don't Let Go (Hope Harbor Book 3) Read online

  “I’m sorry, Drew. I didn’t mean to bite your head off.” Aggie dropped a quick kiss on her brother’s cheek before reaching for a chair.

  “Sorry, brat. I didn’t mean to stir you up. Lots going on. Nice to see you, regardless of my bad attitude.”

  Liam held the chair out for her.

  “Yeah, you too. Apology accepted and I didn’t mean to snap at you either. Sorry.” She sat as Liam pushed it in. She looked up at him and smiled. “Thanks.”

  That small act of normal went straight to his gut, giving him a shot of encouragement he desperately needed. He sat down but couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

  A kick under the table made Liam look up. Drew stared at him and made a kissing motion with his lips before grinning.

  Liam ignored him and picked up his menu. Nothing was going to take away that little glimmer of hope. Not even his best friend being a smart ass. “Wonder what the daily special is?”

  Just then, the waitress came over to their table and gave them the specials and waited until they’d ordered before leaving them alone.

  April clasped her hands together and smiled at them. “I thought it would be a good idea for us all to touch base about the wedding because we’re going to need help if I’m going to be any good at work. As marvelous as I am, I can’t do everything, no matter what Drew thinks.” April pushed back a curl from her forehead and shared a look with Aggie. “I’ve made a list of things I need help with, and we’re really pushing to get things done in time.” She opened her purse and took out duplicate cards, handing one to Liam and one to Aggie.

  Liam stared at it. “I don’t understand why you’re rushed to do this. If it’s going to take longer to sort out, why can’t you wait?”

  April took Drew’s hand and gave him a dewy smile. “You two are the first to know since you’re our best friends. We’re expecting a baby and want to get married before I start to show.”

  A baby! He hadn’t seen that coming. No wonder Drew was so touchy these days. “Congratulations. That’s wonderful news. Isn’t it, Aggie?”

  He could feel the tension in her body. What the heck was going on? She, of all people, should be happy for her brother and best friend. The old Aggie would have been over the moon. This one, not so much.

  “That’s awesome. Congratulations. Both of you.” Her words sounded forced. She lifted her water glass and made a lame effort to toast them.

  Liam glanced at Drew and saw the frown. The two men shared a look and shrugged at the same time. Liam had to find out what was making Aggie so cranky. This wasn’t the girl he’d fallen in love with, and he missed her. He was sure the whole family did. As they ate dinner, Liam tried to pinpoint when things had changed.

  Could it’ve been when he was interning? Maybe he hadn’t give her enough of his time in Seattle? Because he’d put his studies first and pretty much ignored her until he found his feet as a doctor? Understandable if it was, but that was a few years ago. Surely he deserved a second chance? Or was it because he’d dated other women before coming to the conclusion that none of them measured up to Aggie?

  For two years he’d been trying to find that connection again and failed. What if it was too late for them?

  The very thought made his stomach hurt. Drew and April’s wedding was his chance to change that. He was on a mission to woo her and make her his, and he had no intention of giving up as easily as he had last time.

  As they walked out of the restaurant to the car, Liam took a deep breath. Now was the time. He could organize another date, set the ball rolling.

  “Aggie, I—

  “April, can I get a lift home with you?” Aggie interrupted him, then gave a quick, apologetic smile. “Sorry. Just thought we could discuss some bridesmaid stuff.”

  Liam sighed.

  Holding onto Aggie was going to be harder than he’d thought.

  Chapter 4

  “Thanks for coming shopping with me on such short notice, Aggie.” April drove off the ferry on the Seattle side and headed into town. “I’ve chosen a couple of dress shops that I know do the kind of clothing I like. Last thing I want to do is traipse around town with no set plan when you only give yourself a day off at a time.”

  Aggie glanced out the window, shielding her eyes from the bright sun until they turned in a different direction. Shopping in Seattle wasn’t how she wanted to spend her day off, but she’d promised April last week at dinner. “That’s okay. It gets me out of the house and away from Dad and Gigi. They’re both looking at me like I’m going to do something crazy. It’s driving me nuts.”

  April reached out a hand and touched Aggie on the arm. “They’re worried about you, and you can’t blame them. It’s time you did something about this, honey. For what it’s worth, I still say you’re suffering from PTSD. I know the signs and you have them.”

  Aggie took a deep breath and did her best to keep her voice even despite the inner turmoil making her nauseated. “And I told you I don’t want to talk about it, so if you don’t mind, let’s concentrate on the dresses today. Just the dresses.”

  “Okay, but we will discuss it later. I won’t let you get away with this for much longer.” April focused on the traffic and before long, they pulled up at the first store. She found a vacant spot and slid into it. “Right. Let’s do this.”

  Oh boy, I can’t wait. Aggie should have been happy for April—and she was—but it was hard to put on a smiling face when all she wanted to do was hide away on the island. Seattle didn’t hold happy memories for her and coming back was a challenge she hadn’t wanted to face.

  “I can see that mind of yours fighting this but go with it. That’s the way. It won’t hurt, I promise.” April slammed her door and Aggie felt terrible at the hint of sarcasm in her friend’s voice. She’d promised herself to be the good friend April deserved and not spoil the day for her. So far, she wasn’t playing the game very well.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be a pain.”

  April paused and smiled. “And I didn’t mean to be a bitch either. Nerves are getting to me. Sorry, Aggie.”

  “It’s okay. Forget it. Listen, you never said but are you still going to have that princess dress you wanted when we were twelve?”

  April laughed and shook her head. “No,” April snorted. “And I have no intention of arriving on horseback either, in case that was the next question.”

  “I guess we’ve both changed, huh?”

  Aggie had changed.

  She’d changed too much.

  “I want something simple and less fussy than I wanted before.” April sighed. “That’s a good thing, right?”

  “Yeah. Let’s do this.” Aggie followed April into the shop, wincing at the swathes of bright tulle and frills. “Tell me what’re you looking for? You never actually said.”

  “Not what I wanted when I was twelve, that’s for sure. I want something simple, not too fussy like that pink meringue concoction there, and I think I’d like to go with ivory.”

  The saleswoman headed their way, like a bird of prey who’d just spied her dinner. “Ladies, welcome to Brides by the Bridge. Let me get you seated, and we can work out what you need today.”

  Aggie grinned and winked as April was led to the back of the store where a settee and table were set up. Over-the-top fake flowers surrounded the setting like you might find in a Las Vegas wedding chapel. April put her purse down and strolled around the displays. She looked worried now, rather than she had on the way over when excitement had kissed her face. Aggie followed at a steadier pace, looking at the dresses hoping that none of them were chosen for her. She hated frills and lace. Hopefully something simple and stylish would catch April’s eye.

  This was the closest she would ever come to being fitted for a dress. A bridesmaid. Never to be a bride. That opportunity had gone.

  “Aggie, here. This is you.” April had stopped at a mannequin dressed in a russet silk creation that took Aggie’s breath away. The neckline was created by folds of silk that ran
from one shoulder to the other, draping the bodice and trailing down the back to leave a fair expanse of skin exposed. The simple lines of the skirt drew her to look at it closer. Aggie touched the fabric, rubbing it between her fingers. It was soft and would caress her skin beautifully. And the color was perfect—so unusual. And not the slightest hint of lace anywhere.

  “Isn’t it just perfect for you?” April picked up the label and looked at it. “Your size too. Try it on.”

  Panic set in. “I don’t know. It’s…I don’t know.” Perfect but scary at the same time.

  April took her by the arms. “Breathe and stop panicking. This is a dress fitting, nothing more. I’ve got you and I won’t be going anywhere.”

  “But it’s so pretty. I don’t know if I can do pretty.” That word always made her hyperventilate. He’d told her she was pretty. The last thing Aggie wanted was to feel desirable again.

  Aggie closed her eyes and tried to focus on the here and now. She breathed in and out a couple of times before opening her eyes.

  April was still touching the dress.

  “It’s not pretty. It’s classic.” April stroked the swath of silk on the neckline. “Typical Grecian style. Very simple and very you.”

  Aggie chewed over the words, focusing on them to keep her equilibrium. “Do you really think so?”

  “Yes, I do.” April nodded to the saleswoman, hovering in the background. “Can Aggie try that on, please?”

  “Certainly, ma’am. I’ll put it in dressing room number two for you.” The assistant peeled the dress off the mannequin and carried it to the back of the shop.

  “Thanks. Now, Aggie, help me find something to wear, please. This place is making me feel claustrophobic with all the frills.”

  After discarding dress after dress, April looked ready to cry. Aggie beckoned the saleswomen over and spoke to her in a quiet but firm voice. “Is there another one like mine, same design maybe, but a different color?”

  “That isn’t really a bridal gown. It’s more for formals or bridesmaids.” The women sniffed at the suggestion. “I’m sure your bride wants something special for her big day.”

  It took all of Aggie’s control to not snap the woman’s head off. “What she wants is something that will make her look incredible, and she doesn’t care what you want to call it. Do you have this dress in another color?” Aggie’s blood pressure started to climb. She could understand the woman wanting to sell April a more expensive dress but she knew her friend didn’t care where it came from or what the price was. The only stipulation was that it had to be the right dress. How hard could it be?

  “Let me go and check.” The saleswoman brushed past them with her chin in the air and went to a rack where she flicked through the dresses as if the task were beneath her. Finally, she grabbed one and brought it over and held it out for April to look at. “Not identical but by the same designer.” She curled her lip. “Would madam like to try it on? I’ll put it in dressing room number one while you keep looking for something suitable.”

  The dress she held was in a soft oyster cream. It had a similar neckline to the one Aggie had tried, but the skirt was an empire style that fell from under the breasts instead of being fitted at the waist.

  “That looks amazing.” April clapped her hands. “Let me try it on, please. Aggie, you try yours too so we can compare.” She headed to the dressing room, a spring in her step.

  Aggie changed quickly. When she did her zip up, she looked at herself in the mirror. The dress was made for her, no doubt about it. It was fitted in all the right places without being too clingy, which made her sigh in relief. And April was right. It was classic, not pretty.

  “Ready?” April’s voice floated from the dressing room next door.

  “Yeah, I guess.” She swallowed her apprehension.

  “One, two, three.” The doors opened and Aggie stepped out and met April in front of the big mirrors. Their eyes met and twin smiles broke out. April turned and giggled before throwing herself into Aggie’s arms. They hugged and laughed like loons, partly from relief that they’d found the right dresses and partly because the saleswomen was standing nearby with a pinched look on her face.

  “We look amazing.” April ran her hand over her still flat stomach, turning sideways as if to double check.

  “You can’t tell.” Aggie leaned into her. “Are you going to share the news with the rest of the family soon?”

  April shook her head in response. “No. We want to keep it to ourselves for a little bit longer.”

  “Why let me and Liam in on it then?”

  April linked her arm through Aggie’s. “Because you two are going to be running interference for us. Atticus is already dropping hints. Your dad is far too clever for his own good.”

  “So why not tell him the news then?” Their father would be over the moon to hear about his first blood grandchild even though he treated April’s children like his own already. Tilly and Leo were the light of his life and thoroughly loved by everyone.

  “Drew is worried he’ll panic. You know, because of what happened to your mom and how that affected everyone. I don’t want to go through a whole pregnancy with him hovering and getting upset every time I get a twinge or throw up. I figure if I can leave it until I pass the twelve-week mark, things will be a bit safer. There might be less panic from everyone.”

  Her reasoning made sense, not that Aggie had any idea. She’d never felt the need to research pregnancy, apart from what her options would have been if she’d been so unlucky that fateful night. Thankfully, that hadn’t happened.

  “Fair enough.” Aggie twirled in front of the mirror, trying to focus on the dress, not the past. “You’re sure about this one, right?”

  “Yes.” April followed and did a twirl too, the skirts of their dresses touching as they billowed around their knees. “I think they’re perfect.”

  “Cool, that was easier than I thought it would be, and how awesome is it that they almost match?” Aggie gave another spin, staring at herself in the mirror. “Can we get changed and go eat please? I’m starving.” She grinned and rubbed her rumbling belly, making no apologies for the noise. “You barely gave me time for coffee and toast this morning, so I’m craving for something substantial.”

  “We had to leave early for the ferry and I’m sorry. If we’d waited for the next one, we would’ve wasted half the day. But sure thing; I’m feeling hungry myself.” She turned to the saleslady. “We’ll take them both, thanks.”

  When the sale was rung up and paid for, Aggie carried the bags to the car, put them on the back seat, and then slid into the front as April started the engine.

  “How about downtown? Somewhere not too far away from the ferry building? I’d like to relax until we have to leave.”

  Aggie swallowed as fear crept up her throat. “Sure.”

  Downtown. That was where she used to work. Where it happened. Her heart pounded and her breathing sounded loud in her ears. The sliver of fear gripped her spine and Aggie had trouble focusing on her surroundings. It was as though her body picked up on the emotional energy of the place, which rendered her speechless and immobile.

  “Aggie? We’re here. Come on.” April slammed the car door, jolting Aggie from her dark thoughts.

  Aggie opened the door and got out, looking around and suddenly noticing exactly where they were. Her ears rang with hollow noise as she spied her old pub, the pathway she used to take home, and the greenery that filled the now busy space.

  “There’s a fabulous café near the edge of the park just around the corner. Come on. My treat.”

  Aggie blanched, her legs trembling as she looked around.

  “Didn’t you used to work at a pub near here on the weekends?” April stood, waiting for an answer, but Aggie couldn’t form one. Eventually, April turned back to her.

  “Honey, what is it?” She reached for Aggie. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  Aggie stared over April’s shoulder at the wide expanse of grass surroun
ded by bushes and swallowed. “It was here,” she gulped. “It happened over near those trees.” Her heart raced and her breathing became labored as her throat closed up.

  April opened the car door and pushed Aggie in. “Buckle up. We’ll go home.” She hurried around to the driver’s side and got in, started the car, then pulled out into traffic.

  Once they were on the road, it was easier for Aggie. The tension eased from her shoulders and she relaxed against the seat. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I should be better by now, but I’m struggling.”

  “Sweetheart, you don’t have to apologize. Not to me. But we’ll get you some help, I promise. This has gone on long enough.”

  Tears clogged her throat and she couldn’t hold them back. They spilled over her lashes. “No. I’ll be fine. We need to stop for food, and I need to get myself together before I go home. Dad and Gigi wont leave me alone if I arrive looking like this.” She wiped her fingers under her eyes. “You have to eat and take care of yourself and my new baby niece or nephew.” She sniffed and gave her bestie a wobbly smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose my shit there.”

  The panic attacks, the fear that dogged her every waking moment—Aggie agreed with the PTSD theory but had no idea what she was going to do about it. Two years of living in fear was far too long. She needed someone to talk to. Bradley was too familiar and it would feel weird talking to him because she’d known him ever since she could remember. But speaking to a stranger didn’t hold any appeal either. Aggie felt limited by her options, which only added to her anxiety.

  April seemed to relax but kept her attention on the road. “This okay?”

  It was an outdoor café on a busy street overlooking the water, not far from the ferry building.

  Aggie blew out a breath. “Perfect. Thanks.” They parked, got out, and together, walked inside to take a table near the window.

  “This is lovely. Thank you.” Aggie leaned over and squeezed April’s hand in gratitude.